Color me exciting

So Matt has left for his cruise, and I'm already lonely! Hence why I'm blogging at 9 o'clock on a Saturday night; color me exciting. I wish he was here; I love those lazy Saturday nights when we cuddle up on the couch together and watch a movie or something. Or the Saturday nights when we go out and do something; but I'm just in the kind of mood right now where I would like to be on the couch, under a blanket, and snuggled up next to Matt. Sigh.

I've been having a rough couple of days. I'm at a point right now where I just want to fast forward through the next five years of my life. I know I don't really want to because I would be missing out on all the fun times that will no doubt happen between now and then. I want to be done with school, mostly. I think a lot of it is stemming from my Astronomy test on Thursday. I studied quite a lot for it, and I thought the test was really difficult, so I'm worried about what I got on it. I wish he would post the marks already; how difficult could it really be to mark multiple choice? I expected this breakdown of sorts though, as it usually happens to me mid-fall semester. I don't think the winter semester is as bad for some reason. I just feel stressed all the time about school which leads me to be unproductive, which leads to more stress. See the vicious cycle? I feel like I have a knotted fireball sitting right at the top of my ribcage. It is so unfun that words can't describe it. I haven't been eating very well lately either, which usually makes me feel even worse. That will be a goal for me for this coming week; to eat less junk food and hopefully nip these feelings while they are still relatively controllable.

I haven't posted here about my epiphany yet! We had a guest speaker come into my abnormal psych class on Thursday, and as I was sitting there listening to her tell her story, I came to the realization that I don't want to do this for the rest of my life. I don't want to deal with sick people forever. I had strange feelings when I was listening to her talk, and I realized that it isn't for me. Another thing that helped me come to this decision was something that Matt's friend's gf said last week when we went out for dinner. She is switching her major from being a social worker to a dietician. She works in a home with some disabled people right now, and she said that she is already getting worn out. She made the point that when she has kids she wants to be totally and fully invested in them, and she thinks her work she is doing right now would hinder it. It was something that I was kind of mulling over in my head all week and it was interesting that a few other factors added up to me changing my mind about psych. The guest speaker and the fact that I found out that you pretty much need to do your honors degree to be considered for grad school, which is something that I'm not really interested in at this point. Plus, the more I thought about the kids point, the more I agreed. I feel the exact same way, and am pretty sure that I would burn out early if I had gone into a career in psych. I had a talk with my boss (who used to be a nurse) and she totally agreed with me, as did Lauren and Matt and my parents. It is nice to have support for my decisions. So now, the plan is that I'm going to get my undergrad, and then my goal is business! I hope I can get my MBA. I think that that will be a much better fit for me, and I'm excited! I really love my office job, and I can be happy in that sort of setting for my career. That plan is of course subject to change like most of my decisions about school. This kind of adds to my stress a teensy bit though, as many apply and few are accepted... but more on that when the time comes.