This is why I was counting down to May 2009!

I'm so excited! And I'm sorry it's TINY!

One of my favourite things...

... when I'm bored is to go back and read blog entries to see what I was doing 1 year ago, 2 years ago, etc. Which I think I've mentioned before, but meh.

Last year at this time I was in summer school and dead tired after every work day, but still having to head to school. It's nice to be done, but I still don't know what to do with myself! Tonight I looked up a couple of places I could volunteer, so I think I might sleep on it, then call those people in the morning to see if they still want people!

Reading May 2008 made me think of something funny that happened to me and Lo on Thursday. We went to paint pottery, and didn't finish our pieces, so had to book time for next week. The woman (Donna) asked if we wanted Thursday again, and Lo said yes, because that's date night. Donna kinda raised her eyebrows and gave a long, drawn out, "oooooook". What didn't help our case is that we spent a good portion of our time discussing gay marriage that night. Ah well. We decided that if Donna believes we're together, that's ok. It doesn't really impact our lives at all and it was kinda hilarious. (not that there's anything wrong with that!!)

Also at this time last year, it seemed I was spending a LOT of time with Matt. Which, unfortunately, is not happening at ALL this year. I see him once in a while, but certainly not as much as I once did. This really bothered me, and still does a bit. I always argue to him that our relationship seems to be regressing, as we spend less time together, which shouldn't be the case three and a half years in. However, it's difficult to argue with him, because he always says that he is doing for us, so we can have a better life together later when he gets the experience that he needs to get a great job that he loves. Which I guess is fair, and understandable, but it sure sucks now. Hmph.

One final thing is that I'm super happy Lo and Jord are back together! We all hung out to watch the Survivor finale on Sunday and it was great fun. Last year at this time, the four of us went to see Indiana Jones, which we all enjoyed (the experience, if not the movie). I'm glad and hopeful that we will have more experiences like that this summer!

I'm becoming a more spiritual person

As I wrote before, I feel like I'm a lost soul right now. Since getting out of school, I don't really know what I'm doing, where I'm going, who I am, or if the choices I'm making are the right ones. Two Thursdays ago, I called Nannie (my grandma) to go to church with me, and we went, and it helped a little. I feel like I'm becoming more interconnected with a higher power, or at least I'm recognizing it a little more.

Today for example.

I was feeling really upset today, feeling down, invisible, and worrying about the future, and I decided to take Lucy for a walk to get some fresh air to help me feel better. I knew I would spend the whole walk ruminating and stewing over my upset feelings, but I thought it would be better than sitting in the house.

We hadn't walked very far when we ran into an old friend, and her two dogs. Instead of feeling upset the whole walk, we spent time chatting. I really envy her, because she is able to talk about anything and everything (in a good way). Her chatting made me feel so much better and I came home feeling much more peaceful and way less crappy. I just really like externalizing events to some sort of invisible force. It's kinda neat what you see when you start looking.

May already!

I blogged last year about working for May 2009, and at that time it seemed like it would NEVER come. I can't believe that it is now May 2009, I am done university, and am working full time with no classes in sight! It is strange, and right now I kind of don't know what to do with all of my spare time. It feels so WEIRD to be done undergrad! And, although when working through all the course work and exams and stuff it seemed like it would never end, I can't believe it is over already. I'm struggling to find myself now, and find an identity, I guess. For 18 years, I was Natalie the student. I'm a little lost right now, but it seems to be getting better every day. Hopefully. I think it will be an ongoing process.

I am off from work this week as well, kinda getting my bearings before being a full time employee. I don't really know what to do this week. So far today I've just gone out to pick up a few things, but it's only 130 and I'm not sure what to do with the rest of my day! Hopefully I can find some fun things for the rest of the week!