Post 50!!

Us making cupcakes, as promised!


Matt and me on the hayride!

My company summer BBQ was on Sunday; lots of fun! The weather wasn't fantastic, as you probably could tell from the background of that picture. It started pouring while we were on the hayride and got so cold! The good part was that the driver made the horses go faster so we could get back quicker which made for a more intersting ride! It was fun though, and after, we came home, ate popcorn and watched Office Space.

I was looking at my facebook countdown to the end of Spring semester and thinking about how those stupid counters always make me nervous because I just think about how much I have to do and how little time I have left to do it in. Today though, I realized that I put the wrong date on the stupid thing! Instead of having 9 days left, I have 16. What a letdown.

Last night I was choosing my courses for my final year (!!!) of university. It took me a long time, and I don't have my last 3 picked out for sure; I have to make choices among many. I think I'm going to go up to the university on the 24th to see a guidance counsellor and pick the right courses so I graduate. I was looking through the "what you need to do to graduate" list, and it was so silly, but I was teary as I was reading it. I am so excited to be done (which I think is why I was so teary), but I'm also going to miss it in a way. Not the reading outside of class, and not the paper and assignment parts, but the exercising my mind and learning about topics that make me so passionate. I only hope I can find the same thing once I am out of school. Anyway, THINKING about APPLYING to graduate made me teary! Just think of what a wreck I'll be on the day they finally hand me that degree! (which should be next May if everything goes down properly).

I'm also kinda worried about getting out of school.

School has made me see some character traits in myself that I don't really like. The one that stands out most of all is procrastinating. Am I still going to be like that when I get out of school? Will it change from reading my textbook and writing papers to cleaning bathrooms and laundry? Ha, well we certainly know it won't be the latter. I don't mention work stuff here because I think I have a great work ethic AT WORK. Unfortunately, it doesn't carry over. Will I realize that the feelings that I attribute to mid-semester blues are actually not due to school?

Also, in losing school, will I lose positive parts of myself that it helped develop? Will I lose my critical thinking skills, my zeal for learning, my self confidence and other learned skills? Where will I get the "wow" factor that I so often get when in lecture when I learn something truly amazing or life changing? Will I gain something better than all of this?

These are the things that I hope work themselves out.